***”Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote. The relative positions to be assumed by men and women in the working out of our civilization were assigned long ago by a higher intelligence than ours.” [Grover Cleveland, 1905]
Her name was Ruth, “The young college student was walking to her car. The man catcalled her. She ignored him. What happened next could have been lifted from any woman’s most vivid nightmare” The man..followed the 19-year-old student..as she entered the parking garage..He followed her from behind and put her into a chokehold.. ‘The defendant was angry he was being ignored,’ prosecutors said..police tracked the pings of her cellphone to the parking garage, where her body was discovered.” [“Student allegedly killed by man after catcalls ignored”; Julie Bosman; 11/28/19; N.Y. Times] The “problem:” Ruth’s killer was ENTITLED – to catcall her and not be ignored.
***”Rape is kinda like the weather. If it’s inevitable, relax and enjoy it.” [Clayton Williams; Republican, Texas]
This post is inspired by Kate Manne’s 2020 “Entitled. How Male Privilege Hurts Women.” Manne: “Misogyny..best conceptualized as the “law enforcement” branch of patriarchy – a system that functions to police and enforce gendered norms and expectations, and involves girls and women facing disproportionately or distinctively hostile treatment because of their gender, among other factors…In general, I think of misogyny as being a bit like the shock collar worn by dogs…it tends to discourage girls and women from venturing out of bounds. If we stray, or err, we know what we are in for..it is best to think of misogyny primarily as a property of the social environments girls and women navigate…”
***”In those days, it didn’t matter: you could be a Wimbledon champion, Phi Beta Kappa, Miss America, Nobel Peace Prize winner, but if they asked you about marriage and you didn’t at least have a hot prospect ready to go down on one knee, you knew you were considered to be no more than half a woman.” {Billy Jean King, 1982]
“A few weeks ago, as I was walking down the street to my car, a man stopped me to begin a conversation about my height. Here we go, I thought. He asked me the usual questions, prodding me about my basketball career, and then there it was: “Let’s play one-on-one. I bet I could beat you.”…I’m not going to play you one-on-one…I had to prove my skill in middle school..I had to prove my skill in high school..I had to prove it in college..I have nothing to prove.. Why can’t a man respect a woman at the top of her field?” [Devereaux Peters; 8/13/18; Wash. Post]
The “problem ” here: men are ENTITLED to challenge an WNBA player.
***”Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke.” [Gloria Steinem, “Ms”; l972]
Manne: “..I take sexism to be the theoretical and ideological branch of patriarchy: the beliefs, ideas, and assumptions that serve to rationalize and naturalize patriarchal norms and expectations – including a gendered division of labor, and men’s domination over women in areas of traditionally male power and authority.”
***”There never lived a woman who did not wish she were a man. There never lived a man who wished he were a woman.” [Edgar Watson Howe, 1911]
“To Sandberg, the move to Facebook..wasn’t..counterintuitive..she had hit a ceiling: there were several vice presidents at her level..Men who weren’t performing as well as she were getting recognized and receiving higher titles, former Google colleagues maintained.” [“An Ugly Truth”; S.Frenkel & C.Kang; Harper Collins, 2021]
The “problem”: they were ENTITLED – she wasn’t.
***If a woman has [the right to an abortion], why shouldn’t a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman? At least the rapist’s pursuit of sexual freedom doesn’t [in most cases] result in anyone’s death.”
[Lawrence Lockman, Republican, Maine]
***”If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.” [Florynce Kennedy; “Ms”, March, 1973]
Manne: “..women are expected to give traditionally feminine goods [such as sex, care, nurturing, and reproductive labor] to designated, often more privileged men, and to refrain from taking traditionally masculine goods [such as power, authority, and claims to knowledge] away from them…These goods can..be understood as those which privileged men are tacitly deemed entitled..”
***”Women’s degradation is in man’s idea of his sexual rights. Our religion, laws, customs, are all founded on the belief that woman was made for man.” [Elizabeth Cady Stanton letter; 6/14/1860]
“The Nancy Pelosi Problem. The first female speaker of the House has become the most effective congressional leader of modern times – and not coincidentally , the most vilified…Why is she so unpopular? Because powerful women politicians usually are. Nancy Pelosi does he job about as well as anyone could. But because she’s a woman, she may not be doing it well enough…By climbing to the top of the greasy pole..Pelosi has made her ambition visible. She has gained the power to tell her male colleagues what to do…The more successful Pelosi is – the more she outmaneuvers and dominates her male adversaries – the more threatening she becomes.” [The Atlantic; April, 2018]
The “problem” here: a woman ISN’T entitled to do this, to enjoy “male” goods.
***”If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to shut that thing down.” [Todd Aikin, Republican, Missouri]
Manne: “..the phenomenon of “himpathy”: the way powerful and privileged boys and men commit acts of sexual violence or engage in misogynistic behavior often receive sympathy and concern over their female victims..understand “himpathy” as the flip side of misogyny..Himpathy goes hand in hand with blaming or erasing victims and targets of misogyny..she will often be subject to suspicion and aggression for drawing attention to his misdeeds. Her testimony may..fail to gain the proper uptake. Instead, those who are “himpathetic” find endless excuses for the perpetrator.”
***”Rape victims should make the best of a bad situation.” [Rick Santorum, Republican, Pennsylvania]
“New Jersey judge rebuked for leniency in case of teen rape suspect “from good family”: the 16-year-old girl was visibly intoxicated, when a drunk 16-year-old boy..filmed himself penetrating her from behind..He later shared the cellphone video among friends..sent a text..’When your first time having sex was rape’..But a family court judge said it was not rape..also said the young man came ‘from a good family,” attended an excellent school, had terrific grades and was an Eagle Scout..pressing charges would destroy the boy’s life..” [Luis Ferre-Sadurni; 7/4/19; N.Y. Times] Question: does this outstanding young man now qualify for a “Rape Badge”? It would seem he’s definitely ENTITLED.
!!!!!???!!! News flash! – it just happened again [November, 2021] – a judge gave a young man 8 years of probation – instead of any jail time – for raping four [4!!!] young girls. The young man is from a wealthy family. The sexual assaults occurred in the family’s mansion. The poster boy of ENTITLEMENT?
*** “The problem that has no name – which is simply the fact that American women are kept from growing to their full human capacities – is taking a far greater toll on the physical and mental health of our country than any known disease.”{Betty Friedan, 1963]
Manne: “A paradigmatic act of “mansplaining” consists of a man presuming to “explain” something incorrectly to a more expert female speaker or set of speakers – and in an overly confidant, arrogant, or overbearing manner…”mansplaining” typically stems from an unwarranted sense of entitlement on the part of the mansplainer to occupy the conversational position of the knower by default…”
*** “In the East, women religiously conceal that they have faces; in the West, that they have legs. In both cases they make it evident they have but little brains.” [HenryDavid Thoreau; 1/31/1852]
“In more than a decade as a trial lawyer, I’ve watched in frustration as male attorneys rely on a range of courtroom tactics ..off-limits to women…90% of her courtroom opponents are male…they file a ‘no-crying’ as a matter of course. Judges deny them, but the damage is done…women in the courtroom face what she described as a “double standard and a double bind.” Women ..must avoid being seen as “too soft” or “too strident.’ “too aggressive” or “not aggressive enough.” ..Sexism infects every kind of courtroom encounter..women’s clothing choices..were subject of intense scrutiny…I was practicing law differently from many of my male colleagues…she often has to bring one of her male partners along – even if he knows little about the case. “That older man at the table carries some kind of credibility.” [Lara Bazelon; “May it Please the Court’: The Atlantic; September, 2018]. The “problem”: she WASN’T entitled to credibility.
*** “I must not write a word to you about politics, because you are a woman.” [John Adams; 2/12/1779 letter to Abagail]
Manne: “There is a certain kind of man who is unable or unwilling to cope with others expressing views that threaten his own sense of what has happened..Such men cannot abide girls and women, in particular, evincing their own, legitimate off the epistemic entitlement to state what is happening…They.. want to shut her up..denying her word has any meaning or merit whatsoever…”
“A self-described “anti-feminist lawyer..who received media attention..for lawsuits challenging perceived infringements of “men’s rights”…In writing posted online. Den Hollander derided the judge as having traded on her Hispanic heritage to get ahead..was best known previously for unsuccessful lawsuits challenging the constitutionality of “ladies night” promotions…In more than 2,000 of often misogynist..writings, Den Hollander criticized Salas’ life story..” [“Lawyer eyed in shooting of judge’s family”; M.Dale, M.Balsimo, M.Sisak; 7/21/20; Assoc. Press]
***”The prolonged slavery of women is the darkest page in human history.” [E.C. Stanton; 1881]
Manne: “..social psychologists have speculated that there’s something about women who seek the highest position of power and the most masculine-coded authority positions that people continue to find off-putting.”
“Megan Rapinoe isn’t here to make you comfortable. “It’s hard to keep count of all the polarizing ways that people describe Megan Rapinoe…a star..a pariah..fun-loving..annoying..exuberant..excessive..a necessary voice..an irreverent troublemaker.. delightful.. disgraceful..essential..inappropriate..”
“But her defiance exemplifies the U.S. women’s soccer tradition..it was built, through excellence, on combating prejudiced views of what’s possible and what’s proper for female athletes.” [Jerry Brewer; 6/30/19; Wash.Post Wkly]
The “problem” here; Megan Rapinoe ISN’T entitled to represent what America is.
***”The status quo protects itself by punishing all challengers, especially women whose rebellion strikes at the most fundamental social organization: the sex roles that convince half the population that its identity depends on being first in work and war, and the other half that it must serve as docile, unpaid, or underpaid labor.” [Gloria Steinem, “Ms”, 1972]
And then – there is the uplifting story of “Maiden,” the English sailboat with an all-female crew, that was. THE. story of the 1989-90 “Whitbread Round the World Race.” They won two of the first three legs, then suffered water damage and finished second in their class. When they returned to England – they were met by a fleet of boats out to greet them, and “a reception fit for a king” on land. Skipper/inspiration for this, Tracy Edwards, was declared “Yachtsman of the Year.”
The full story: they were openly derided before the race. Bets were made they wouldn’t even finish the first leg of the race. Only when they won the second and third legs in their class did things begin to change.
They WEREN’T entitled to respect because they were women.
Rent/buy the Sony Pictures DVD – “Maiden”. for a wonderful 97 minute s. Produced by Alex Holmes, with much commentary by Edward s and her crew.i
With Justice For All 